#117 Jay Shetty: On Finding Your Purpose
Jay Shetty has inspired millions of people through his inspirational YouTube videos, best-selling books and his podcast, On Purpose. He shares much of his wisdom as a former monk through his teachings. In this interview we discuss:
-The #1 trait of high performers
-The hardest part of finding your purpose
-Why we should study people instead of envying them
-The best career advice he ever received
-What we get wrong about trauma
-How to cultivate meaningful relationships and more..
Key Topics Covered
[0:00-3:00] Introduction & Studio Setup
Jay's background and accomplishments
Discussion about podcast studio design and creating an inviting atmosphere
Jay's use of "Easter eggs" in his studio (pictures of eyes for eye contact, heart shapes)
Philosophy behind creating energetic spaces
[3:00-8:00] Interview Style & Presence
Jay's approach to being present during interviews
Not planning next questions while guests are talking
Importance of preparation vs. presence in interviews
Leaving in thinking pauses and awkward silences
Balance of 10% planned questions, 90% organic flow
[8:00-12:00] Childhood Heroes & Influences
David Beckham as a major influence growing up
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and wrestling fandom
Reading Martin Luther King and Malcolm X biographies as a teenager
Combining entertainment/storytelling with impact/service
[12:00-18:00] Childhood & Family Influence
Being bullied for being overweight and skin color
Mother as an "emotional shield"
Key concept: High standards, high grace - holding yourself to high standards while showing compassion when you don't meet them
Roger Federer's philosophy: "When I'm playing a point, it's the most important point. When it's over, it's the least important."
[18:00-22:00] Finding Purpose - Core Philosophy
Purpose as a daily commitment, not a one-time discovery
Purpose = passion in action
MLK quote: "Those who love peace must learn to organize as effectively as those who love war"
Strategy and sincerity must go together
Systems and execution are just tools that can be used for good
[22:00-28:00] The Work Behind Purpose
Purpose requires daily work and commitment
Like maintaining physical fitness - it's not a one-time achievement
Purpose is active, dynamic, and evolving
Key insight: Purpose is about transformation, not titles
Vehicles (podcasting, speaking) vs. actual purpose (helping people find peace and purpose)
[28:00-32:00] Princeton Commencement Speech
Honor of speaking at Princeton's class day
Nerves and preparation for the speech
Steve Jobs's Stanford speech as inspiration (listened to it daily for 9 months)
Student response and impact of the speech
[32:00-36:00] Four Major Life Decisions
Based on 5,000-year-old Vedic literature
Four pillars: Dharma (purpose), Artha (money), Kama (love), Moksha (liberation/service)
Why service to humanity was included as the fourth decision
Service as what the human heart is wired for
Research showing people are happier when spending money on others
[36:00-42:00] Success & Service Philosophy
High performers need both success and service
Strategy and sincerity go hand in hand
Key principle: "We are wired for generosity but educated for greed"
The middle path vs. living in extremes
Why privilege creates more responsibility to give back
[42:00-45:00] Career Advice
Best career advice: "Open every door first, keep walking through the ones that remain open"
Don't wait for one door - knock on multiple doors
Jay's TV show rejections leading to starting On Purpose podcast
The "Third Door" concept - sometimes it's not the front door
[45:00-50:00] Podcast Launch Struggles
Production company backing out 2 weeks before launch
Being told "people won't listen to you for an hour"
Self-funding and launching anyway on Valentine's Day 2019
Building everything in-house vs. relying on external companies
[50:00-54:00] Dealing with Rejection & Criticism
Learning that most people won't get your vision
Experience from becoming a monk - looked like failure entering and leaving
People project their limitations onto you
This pattern continues with every new venture (like Juni beverage company)
[54:00-62:00] Juni Sparkling Tea Business
Jay's personal sugar addiction story
Wife's influence as nutritionist in changing his diet
Creating healthy alternatives that taste good
Juni's ingredients: ashwagandha, lion's mane, green tea/hibiscus, reishi mushroom, acai cherry
Business success metrics and growth on Amazon
Philosophy: "Something shouldn't taste bad to be good for you"
[62:00-65:00] Rapid Fire Questions
Trauma insights from Dr. Gabor Maté:
Trauma often happened before the traumatic event
If you couldn't tell your parents about something bad, the real trauma was not trusting them in the first place
Importance of maintaining communication lines with loved ones
Relationship advice:
A relationship is only worth saving if BOTH people want to save it
Don't waste energy convincing someone to stay in your life
People change for themselves, not because others want them to change
Cultivating meaningful relationships:
Biggest blind spot: thinking "we should just get each other"
Meaningful relationships require meaningful disagreement and discussion
Both partners must work on themselves individually AND the relationship together
Growth happens at different paces
[65:00-67:00] Final Wisdom
What Jay wishes he knew at 27: "No matter what your intention is, no matter how much you care, no matter how much you try, you will always be misunderstood by people who want to misunderstand you."
Key Takeaways
High Standards, High Grace - Hold yourself to high standards while showing compassion when you fall short
Purpose is Daily Work - Not a one-time discovery but a daily commitment and practice
Study vs. Envy - Learn from successful people rather than being bitter about their success
Strategy + Sincerity - Good intentions need good systems to create real impact
Open Every Door - Don't wait for one opportunity; pursue multiple paths simultaneously
Both People Must Want It - Relationships only work when both parties are committed to making them work